Adam Up/Transcript

This article does not have all the information about the subject! This article, transcript, or section is incomplete. You may help by completing the article.

This page is a transcript for Adam Up. Please add to the contents of this page, but only sentences and parts that pertain to the episode Adam Up.

This is a transcript of the episode Adam Up. It's still under construction.

Transcript

Leo: Great job, guys. You just took out an entire unit of virtual cyborgs.

Eddy: I think it's sad that you have to invent people to play with you.

Adam: All right Leo, I'm off the clock. Let's get out of here.

Chase: Whoa whoa whoa! Just 'cause Mr. Davenport's away doesn't mean we stop training.

(Leo and Adam groan)

Chase: How do you think I feel? I'm missing a four-hour documentary on the history of the Printing Press.

Adam: But Leo and I were gonna play human bull's-eye bounce... don't worry, it's way more dangerous than it sounds.

Chase: Human bull's-eye bounce. Is there any way you can get a good enough bounce to land in the emergency room? 'Cause that would save us a lot of time.

Bree: Nope. He's right, Adam. As much as I enjoy watching you get hurt-- (laughs) and I really do-- we have to train.

Leo: Oh, come on! The adults are away! If we don't take advantage by doing something destructive, we're no better than... Chase.

Chase: I'm sorry, but unless he can be in two places at once, he's training. Come on, let's get the bo staffs.

Adam: Oh man, I never get to do what I want. It's not fair.

Bree: Aww. Are all of your cool bionic abilities and top secret missions getting you down?

Adam: Thanks Bree. I knew you'd understand. Sorry, buddy.

Leo: Too bad you can't be in two places at once.

Eddy: Well, now he can! 'Cause it's time to play "Eddy's Will It Or Will It Not Blow Up In Your Face". A riding mower, a set of barbecue utensils, or a cellular duplicator.

Adam: Ooh, I really want to ride something on grass! But I do love the grill.

Leo: Eddy, we're gonna go with the cellular duplicator!

Eddy: Good choice! This lovely state-of-the-art device scans human DNA and creates a life-like double using synthetic bioplasma!

Adam: Too complicated. Go for the riding mower.

Leo: No. This is how we can make two of you. It makes a non-human twin out of a human.

Eddy: That's right. But be careful, it's not fully tested so there's a small chance it could go horribly wrong.

Leo: Then, why are you telling us to use it?

Eddy: There's a small chance it could go horribly wrong.

Adam: I'll give it a shot. Where is it?

Eddy: I'll give you a hint.

Leo: How does it work?

Eddy: It just needs a sample of your DNA.

Adam: Ooh, I got this.

Leo Dooley: You know, you could've just put a hair in there, right?

Adam: Ew, that'd be gross. Aww, look. It has my eyes. Whoa!

Leo: Awesome.
This may have been a big mistake.

(Intro plays)

Chase: All right. Break's over. Fire up the simulator. Adam, please remember: the cyborgs are fake, but I am real.

Adam: Just one question: is this real? (hits Chase)

Chase: Ow! Why did you do that?

Adam: Because real pain's funnier than fake pain. (hits Chase again)

Chase: Uhh! Ohh!

Bree: You're a genius? Ha! Even I saw that coming.

(Bree and Adam handshake)

Adam: Oh. Aww! (Adam and Leo are watching on the security system) 

Leo: This is great. They're totally buying duplicate you.

Adam: I know. The only thing more fun than hitting Chase is watching me hit Chase.

Leo: Let the human bull's eye bounce begin!

Adam: Whoo! Okay. It's easy as it looks. Jump as high as you can and try and land in one of those point circles.

Leo: Cool. It's just like being at a real carnival.

Adam: I know. I even covered the floor with popcorn and mystery goo.

Leo: Thanks.

Adam: I'll go first. The key is to get a lot of bounce and then worry about accuracy.

Eddy: Oh, just hurry up and get hurt!

Adam: WHOA!!!! (crashes) Quick! Get me down from here! I've gotta do that again!

(Scene changes to Mission Creek High)

Principal Perry: Hey. Hansel and Gretel. My niece is visiting from.... um... wherever she lives, and I'm gonna assign you two to be chaperones for a couple of days.

Chase: Oh, uh... well, see, I can't.

Bree: We are so sorry.

Chase: ... 'Cause I gotta be--

Principal Perry: Oh, that's so cute. You think you have a choice. Ha ha ha ha ha!

Bree: But why would you need us to show her around? You can't stand us.

Principal Perry: Oh, you've notice. Look, my niece's sweetness... and if she hangs around the cool kids, they'll corrupt her. That's why she's hanging with you. If it's unclear, let me spell it out: you're not cool.

Kerry: Hi, aunt Terry.

Principal Perry: Kerry, darling. This is uhh... give me a second... Kevvvinnn... Suzzzzannnn...

Bree: Bree and Chase.

Principal Perry: No one really cares.

Kerry: Nice to meet you. I'm Kerry Perry. Thanks for showing me around. I hope it's not too much of a bother.

Bree: No, no. We are happy to be forced to help.

Principal Perry: Great. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm headed to the chem lab to sear off a wart.

Kerry: Bye, aunt Terry! Hee hee! Here's the deal, ladies. I'm skipping school and hitting the mall. And when I get there, I'm gonna plant a dead fly in my burrito and eat for free.

Chase: Sorry, but as your chaperone--

Kerry: Shut it, squat-mug! Little elves called-- they want you back at the tree to make cookies.

Bree: Umm... you can't talk to us like that.

Kerry: Ha! Just did, boy hips! I'm outta here.

Chase: You can't just go.

Bree: Yeah. What are we supposed to tell your aunt? Besides the fact that she should round up some bail money.

Kerry: Tell her I was with you two nimrods all day! And, you better do my homework, or else you'll get this: Aunt Terry! They were so mean to me! Make them pay! Make them pay! So we good? Later, peeps.

Chase: Okay, she is *definitely a Perry.

(scene changes to the cafeteria)

Leo: Go for Dooley.

Adam: (on phone) Hey, how's it going.

Leo: Great, duplicate Adam is acting just like you... although he did get a D+ on your geography test.

Adam: A D+? He better dial it back or we're gonna get caught.

Leo: So how's everything going at home?

Adam: Oh, great. I'm just finishing up the "nacho volcano". Oh no! The cheese lava's coming! Run for your lives, people of Jalapeñia! No!!! No!!! Don't worry, I'll save you with my mouth. (imitating airplane)

Leo: Hey, Adam. That is nacho responsibility. Ha ha ha ha! Okay, bye.

Adam: Wait wait wait. I wanna talk to me.

Leo: It's for you.

Duplicate Adam: Who is it?

Leo: You.

Duplicate Adam: Oh, hello.

Adam: Hey, how am I?

Duplicate Adam: You're good. How am I?

Adam: You're good.

Duplicate Adam: Just so you know, I'm not crazy about this whole school thing.

Adam: Oh, well I'm having a blast. I'm about to go ice fishing.

Duplicate Adam: What?! How you gonna do that?

Adam: I froze Leo's fish tank.

Duplicate Adam: No way, I gotta go.

(scene change)

Chase: Math homework, chemistry homework, history homework.

Bree: And, here's your art project. Don't expect an A.

Kerry: Don't expect a thank you. Now give me twenty bucks.

Bree: For what?!

Kerry: Milkshakes for me and my girls. Fork it over, princess!

Bree: What?

Chase: You just got a shakedown by a pre-teen!

Kerry: I'm thirteen, bum-sweat!

Chase: Were you raised by a gang of bikers?

Bree: That's it. We are done with this. Principal Perry, we need to have a little discussion about your niece.

Principal Perry: We sure do. She loves you two.

Chase: What?! That's impossible.

Principal Perry: I know. I find you repulsive. Thanks for watching Kerry. This morning, I got to spend an extra hour at the dog track!

Bree: Okay, that's great. But we--

Principal Perry: So now I need you to watch her tonight. I'm playing flag football with the sheriffs.

Chase: And how do you get to play flag football with the sheriffs?

Principal Perry: Go to enough highway wrecks with free pizza and they'll let you in. Anyway, if you watch Kerry, I might just forget about the detention days you you've accrued.

Bree: What detention days?

Principal Perry: You mouthin' off? You just got detention!

Bree: What?! You can't do that!

Principal Perry: Just did, Sally sideburns!

Bree: That is it. We are done watch--

Chase: Can you just give us one second please? Look, okay. The girl is a nightmare but if we do this, we might get on Principal Perry's good side.

Bree: The woman has many sides. None of them are good. Fine, I'll do it.

Chase: We've discussed it, and Kerry is more than welcome to come over tonight.

Principal Perry: There you go again-- acting like you have a choice.

(scene changes to the living room)

Leo: Hey, where's duplicate Adam? I lost him at lunch.

Adam: He came home so he could go ice fishing with me.

Leo: What?

Adam: Yeah, it's a long story but remember your goldfish Beyonce?

Leo: Yeah.

Adam: She'll be joining us for dinner,

Leo: Just tell me where your duplicate is.

Adam: Hey, relax. I told him what Chase told me: Unless you can be in two places at once, it's back to school.

Leo: But he didn't go back to school.

Adam: Well, then where is he?

Leo: What are we gonna do?

Adam: I don't know what you're gonna do, but we're gonna start a boy band.

(arrive at lab)                                                                                                                                                                  Adam: Okay, which one of me is responsible for this?

Three Adam Replicas: He is.

Duplicate Adam: I only duplicated myself once because you said I had to go back to school.

Adam: Can't argue with that.

Duplicate Adam: Then the duplicate I made didn't want to go to school either.

Adam: Again, makes sense.

Leo: Adam, we have to do something.

Adam: I know! Let's make one more duplicate and make that one go to school.

Leo: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. (breaks the duplicator)

Adam: You broke my me-maker.

Leo: And you fried Beyonce, we're even! Okay, we need to find a way to get rid of those guys. I'll go get Chase, you stay down here and keep an eye on them.

Adam: Well, looks like we're stuck here for a while so let's get to know each other. I'm Adam.

Adam Replicas: No way, that's my name... that's my name... that's my name!

Adam: No! What?!

Adam Replicas: No way, that's my name... that's my name... that's my name!

(scene change to living room)

Kerry: Bye, aunt Terry! Love you! (car drives away) Ohh. Her car is disgusting. I don't know where the kitty litter ends and the cookie crumbs begin!

Bree: All right, Kerry. You're on our turf now. So we're not gonna put off with you bossing us around.

Kerry: I'm not staying with you losers. I'm going to the skate park to throw marbles in the half pipe and then sell ice packs in the parking lot.

Chase: That is pure evil.

Kerry: You call it evil? I call it a lucrative side business. Oh, my taxi's here. Don't wait up. Ha ha ha.

Bree: Aren't you gonna go after her?

Chase: Aren't you gonna go after her?

Bree: Fine, we'll both go.

Leo: Hey. Hey, guys! Um... we have a serious problem with Adam.

Chase: You'll have to be more specific.

Leo: Yes. There are five of him.

Bree: What are you talking about?

Leo: We made duplicates.

Chase: What?

Adam: Hey, guys.

Leo: Adam, what are you doing up here? You're supposed to be downstairs watching the other Adams.

Adam: Hello? They're our guests. It would be rude not to offer them drinks. "Two waters, 1 OJ, an one berry-infused decaf green tea, soy milk on the side". One of me is very high-maintenance.

(scene changes to the Adam replicas playing scissors, paper, rock)

Duplicate Adam: Ohh! That's twenty in a row!

Bree: More Adams? We will never be able to air this place out.

Adam: See, guys? There's nothing to worry about. They're all here.

Chase: I thought you said there were four duplicates.

Adam: Yeah. One, two, three, four. Uh oh.

Chase: Just go track down the missing Adam. I'll keep an eye on them and try to find a way to reverse the duplication process. Where's the duplicator?

Leo: Well, there's a shard of it under your feet.

Chase: You broke the duplicator?

Leo: Hey, that thing was squirting out an Adam every ten seconds. What did you want me to do?

Chase: Just go find the missing Adam!

Duplicate Adam: Um, we were told there would be beverages.

(Scene changes to living room, Adam and Chase are looking for duplicate Adams)

Chase: Do you really think that your duplicate would be hiding under the cushions?

Adam: Oh, he's definitely been there. My couch cookies are gone.

Chase: I figured out how to get rid of the duplicates. When an electrical current flows through them, the vaporize. I already used this to zap three of them downstairs. Now, we just have to find the one last Adam that got away.

(Bree walks in with a duplicate Adam)

Bree: Found him.

(Leo walks in with a dupicate Adam)

Leo: Found him.

Chase: Guys, what is going on? There was only supposed to be one Adam left.

Adam Replicas: Hi, everyone... those guys look just like us, you're wearing what I'm wearing.....

Bree: No. No. I cannot handle this many Adams. The WORLD cannot handle this many Adams. This is Armageddon!

Leo: It doesn't make any sense. If there's one thing I'm good at, it's breaking things and I definitely broke that duplicator.

Eddy: Well, did I not mention that the duplicates can multiply on their own? They just had to learn how. And guess what, I taught them.

Principal Perry: (at the door) Yoo-hoo. Anybody home?

Chase: Guys, that's Principal Perry.

Bree: Great. So now there are eighteen Adams walking around and no Kerry.

Chase: Shhh. Let's just pretend we're not here.

Principal Perry: I heard that. You don't think my parents tried that on me at Christmas? Kerry? Are you okay? (knocks on door) Open up!

Chase: Everything's fine! We just need a second.

Principal Perry: Listen up, little pigs: I've got a welding torch and a battering ram in my trunk. This could go easy or this could go hard.

Chase: That's only seventeen. There's one left. Where is he?

Bree: I don't know.

Principal Perry: LOOK OUT BELOOOOOOW!

Leo: Did you just shimmy down the chimney?

Principal Perry: It's okay. I'm a professional. Used to be a chimneysweep back in the nineties. I learned the hard way not to wear a skirt. Now, where's my niece?

Bree: Uh, she's just getting her things together. She'll be out any minute.

Duplicate Adam: Hey, guys.

Chase: Adam?!

Principal Perry: What's going on? Why are there two of you?

Chase: You must've got some soot on your glasses.

Leo: Oh yeah, yes you did. Let's get those cleaned right off. Hey! Maybe, we can have a snack. Would you like a celery stick?

Principal Perry: What do you think? Point me to your premium meats.

Bree: Hurry up and zap them.

Chase: All right. Which one of you is the real Adam?

Both Adams: I am.

Bree: What are you waiting for? Just zap 'em both.

Chase: I can't. If I zap the real Adam, the jolt of electricity will fry his bionic infrastructure.

Bree: Well, you gotta zap one of 'em.

Adam: May the best Adam win.

Adam 2: Good luck, bro.

Both Adams: Ho...

Bree: Hurry up before Perry sees!

Principal Perry: Your tartar sauce is expired! Can I have it?

Leo: I think you're good.

Chase: All right, whichever of you is the real Adam, show me what you've got.

Adam: You asked for it.

Chase: Wait. No-- no! No! No! No! (Adam throws Chase across the room) Aaah!

Duplicate Adam: Bye bye.

(Bree zaps the duplicate Adam)

Principal Perry: Uh, remember, next time I come over, I like my salami spicy. Now, where is Kerry?

All: The thing is... she's just... uh.....

Principal Perry: Kerry!

Kerry: Aunt Terry! You're here! I was just taking a stroll on their lovely grounds, and... I must have gotten lost.

Principal Perry: So, you're okay?

Kerry: Okay? These two have been wonderful to me. I'm just sad I'm not gonna get to hang with them anymore.

Principal Perry: Well, then I have some good news. I'm enrolling you at Mission Creek so then you'll get to spend every day with... Steee... and Duu....

Bree: Bree and Chase!

Principal Perry: Yeah, I still don't care.

(Later)

Adam: Oh, pizza's here. I'll get it.

Duplicate Adam: One large pepperoni for Adam.

Adam: Thank you very much, Adam. That's so weird. That pizza guy looked just like me. Uh-oh.

Bree: Oh boy. Yup.

Chase: I'll grab the zapper.

Adam: Hey! There's three pieces missing! That's so like me.

(credits play)