Crush, Chop and Burn/Transcript

This is a complete transcript of the episode Crush, Chop and Burn.

Transcript

Part 1

(The door to the house opens. Donald comes in, with Tasha in his arms) Donald: Welcome to your new home, Mrs. Davenport!

Tasha: Why thank you, Mr. Davenport.

Donald: Absolutely, Mrs. Davenport.

Leo: We get it--You got married. It's getting old. Wow! You got this big house just from inventing things?

Donald: Mm-hmm. 

Leo: Way to go, Mom. That's a husband. What the heck is that? 

Donald: Oh, uh... that is my latest creation. Davenport Industries' first completely interactive 3-D TV.

( beeping, humming. Organ plays "Charge!" Crack of bat hitting ball, "crowd" cheering. Leo stumbles back, hitting a screen. Eddy appears)

Eddy: Watch the face, termite!

Leo: Mom, I think the little voice inside my head is back.

Donald: No, this is Eddy. He's my smart home system. Eddy, this is my new stepson, Leo. Remember, I told you Leo and Tasha are moving in today?

Eddy: Hey, welcome. Everything here is mine.

Donald: Uh, Leo, why don't you go check out your new bedroom? Just go straight down that hallway, and when you see the room with the video games and the action figures and the 50-foot-screen TV... (Leo puts on a big smile) keep walking-- That's mine.

(Next scene. Leo is wandering through the house)

Leo: This place is huge! I'm gonna need a GPS just to find the bathroom. (leans to a code inputter, accidentally revealing the elevator to the Lab. The doosr open. Electronic beeping and humming sounds. Leo carefully walks in) Hello? (doors close. Leo screams as the elevator goes down. The doors open and Leo sneaks in like a spy) Whoa! My new dad is Batman!

(Another set of doors open. Leo quickly hides behind some barrels. Chase rushes out, chased by Adam. Chase enters a code, closing the doors before Adam can grab him)

Chase: Good luck gettin' in! That steel door is thicker than your head! (Adam smashes the door, creating a large dent. The door is destroyed and Adam walks in) Well, there's another way to get in.

Adam: (lifts Chase into the air. Leo watches it with amaze) Give me back my ePod!

Chase: I don't have it!

Bree: (walks in with a music player) Hey.

Adam: You took my ePod! (drops Chase)

Bree: Taylor Swift Mega-Mix-- Really?

Adam: I find her soothing.

(Adam shoots his laser eyes)

Bree: Oh, I know you didn't shoot that laser at me.

Adam: Oh, sorry. It was a terrible mistake-- Just like your face.

(Bree yells and attacks Adam with her super speed, trowing barrels down. Leo is exposed. Adam, Bree & Chase all yell. Once they are done. Leo yells. One he is done, they all yell. Leo runs away squealing)

(Theme song plays)

(Next scene. Leo is surrounded by Adam, Bree, Chase and a desk)

Leo: Okay, I don't play this card too often, but... MOM!!!

Tasha: Leo! There you are! Oh! ( laughing ) What is this place? Who are they?  

Donald: Uh-- they, uh, are... a boy band I've been working with, um, and the twist is, one of 'em's a girl. All right, they're part of a secret project I've been developing-- genetically engineered superhuman siblings. Tasha, Leo, meet Adam, Bree and Chase-- the greatest combination of biology and technology ever developed. I don't want to brag, but I am incredibly smart.

Leo: Don't look at me-- I told you to stay away from Internet dating.

Tasha: So they're robots.

Chase: Whoa!

Adam: Hey!

Bree: Oh, no, she didn't!

Donald: No, Tasha, they're human, I've just given each of them a unique set of bionic abilities controlled by a microchip implant in their necks. It sounds a lot more complicated than it is. See, Adam is all brute strength, and Bree has speed and agility, and Chase has super-senses and a superior intelligence.

Tasha: (laughing) Donald-- Hi-- There are children-- living in our basement!

Donald: This is a scientific habitat. I mean, look at it-- It's got a game room and a rock wall-- Anything a kid could ask for. I've created this place so they can train in the utmost of comfort and technology.

Adam: It's true. The toilets have seat-warmers that talk.

Leo: What do they say?

Adam: It varies, depending on–

Leo: No. 

Tasha: Donald, I don't know what to make of all this. Some new wives get surprised with a honeymoon in Hawaii or... a cruise. Bionic teenagers were not on our wedding registry.

Donald: Honey, they have to stay down here for their own safety. This is all very top-secret. But as soon as their training is complete, they'll be able to handle any crisis or problem that the world throws at them.

Chase: I want to go the pyramids.

Bree: I want to go to Paris.

Adam: I want to go upstairs.

Leo: Hey, what are those? Time machines?

Donald: No, they are not time machines. Time machines are actually in the shop. These are my biologically regulated atmospheric chambers where my bionic creations live and sleep and eat. Which reminds me, it's dinnertime.

Adam, Bree & Chase: Yeah! (enter their capsules)

Donald: Ready?

(food falls into the capsules)

Donald: These are my patented protein pellets. Whatever they don't catch is tomorrow's breakfast.

(Next scene. Donald and Chase are training)

Donald: Okay, Chase. Enemy grenade, three o' clock! (Throws an energy ball at Chase, who uses his force field to block it)

Adam: Hey! Why does he get a force field, and I don't?

Bree: 'Cause if you had one, I wouldn't be able to do this. (throws her bottle of water to Adam)

Donald: Okay, you guys take the rest of the day off. I'm gonna go speak at a tech conference-- because I'm awesome-- I'm gonna have the speedboats detailed, and then I'm gonna go get waxed. Don't judge me.  

Leo: Well, I better get ready for school.

Bree: Ooh! I have always dreamed about going to school. Passing notes, going to prom, breaking into choreographed dance numbers after math class.

Chase: Yeah. All we do is eat, sleep, and train for missions. We're like human lab rats.

Leo: Come on, it can't be that bad.

(squeaking noises of Adam using a rat wheel)

Leo: So, you've never left this room? That explains the haircuts.

Adam: I bet school's fun. You know, except for books, classes, and learning stuff.

Leo: It's not fun when you're "the smart kid."

Chase: Well, down here, smart is considered superior.

Adam & Bree: No, it's not.

Leo: Hey, you guys should come to school with me! You could be my bionic bodyguards! 

Chase: Okay!

Bree: I'm in!

Adam: Let's go!

Eddy: (closes the doors) Not on my watch, laser brains!

Adam: Aw, shoot. We forgot about Davenport's creepy computer.

Leo: I thought it was just in the living room! 

Eddy: Nope! I'm everywhere. (apperars on all monitors)

Leo: In my shower?! 

Eddy: Yep. And by the way, nothing needs to be that clean, sport-o.

Leo: Okay, we need to shut that thing off.

Chase: Never gonna happen, okay? Eddy is an incredibly complex and sophisticated piece of machinery. It would take years before--

(Adam rips off some wirs, deactivating Eddy)

Adam: Aha! Sweet! I barely got electrocuted!

Bree: Okay, come on. If we're gonna go to school, we should shower first, because two of us really stink.

(Adam & Chase sniff their armpits)

Chase: Ohh.

(the Rats shower in their capsules)

Adam: Whoo-hoo-hoo! Yeah!

(dryer humming. The Rats walk out of their capsules, now dressed casual)

Adam: Ah, great. Gave me your underwear by mistake.

Bree: Gross!

Chase: What are you complaining about? I got the bra.

(Next scene. Leo enters Mission Creek High School with the Rats)

Chase: Whoa-ho-ho-ho-ho!

(Chase giggles to two girls)

Adam: Ooh!

Bree: I can't believe we're actually at school. I am so excited! Oh, my first lunch lady. (hugs the lunch lady. Leo has to pull her back) She smelled like fish sticks.

Leo: Do me a favor and try to act like you've seen the world. I have a reputation to uphold here. (is surprised when his underwear is pulled up) Good to see you too, Steve!

Bree: (tries to interact with two girls) Hi! I'm Bree! I like ponies and girl things. (the two girls walk away) Did you see that? I have besties. I can't wait to stab them in the back!

Adam: Here, little lady, let me help you out with that. (removes a locker door)

Chase: Adam! Would you two quit goofing off? We're supposed to not draw attention to ourselves.

( bell rings. Chase pàuts his hands on his ears, screaming and falling on the floor)

Leo: What's up with crazy?

Bree: He has ultra-sensitive bionic hearing.

Chase: What was that?

Leo: It's called a bell. It rings every 40 minutes, eight times a day. So... have fun with that. (walks away, followed by Adam & Bree)

(Next scene. Leo and the Rats are in the gym, dressed in gym uniforms)

Leo: I hate gym class.

Adam: Why?

Leo: (gets a basketball, tries to bounce it but the ball hits his foot) Aaah! That's why.

Chase: So big deal-- You can't play basketball. Chess club's where all the action's at.

Bree: What do I do?

Leo: Throw it. (throws the ball, knocking a boy unconscious) To someone who's looking.

Bree: Wow! You caught that with your face!

Leo: Just once I'd like to show these fools up and go all NBA in their faces.

Chase: Then why don't you?

Leo: Look at me! There's more meat on a dog bone!

Adam: Yeah, but now you have us to help you.

Leo: Huh? Wait--what?! No!!! These are my good drawers! Aaaaahhh!!! Aaaah!

Adam, Bree & Chase: Ooh.

( cheering )

Leo: Yeah, I got mad skills! Yeah!

. . .

Tasha: Hey, honey. Oh, okay. So we have kids living in the basement, and we walk on the furniture-- got it.

Donald: The alarm in the lab went off, Eddy's been disabled, and the kids are gone.

Eddy: Those animals yanked my wires! And one of 'em manhandled my motherboard!

Donald: Where are the kids?!

Eddy: Oh, I'm sorry. Were you talking to me, or the wife you replaced me with?! You know, I might like a new pair of shoes, too!

Donald: Eddy!

Eddy: Fine! They went to school with... (sneers)... Leo.

Donald: No. No, no, no, no, no, no. They can't go to school-- Not with their glitches!

Tasha: What... glitches?

Donald: Because they're human, their emotions can trigger their bionics. If one of 'em gets a little nervous or upset, or even a little bit too happy...

Tasha: Uh-huh?

Donald: They could take out everything from here to Tijuana.

Tasha: What?! You did not mention this on your profile.

Donald: Come on!

. . .

Announcement: Attention, students! The pep rally is starting. Go, dingoes!

Pep Cheer: Let's get fired up...

Leo: Here ya go, baby. You guys rock! Ever since gym class, everyone wants to be my friend. And there's been a certain gentleness to my wedgies.

Bree: It's the least we could do. You gave us our first taste of freedom.

Adam: Yeah, and our first taste of Salisbury steak. Uh, yum.

Leo: Where were you?

Chase: Computer lab, taking med school courses. Guess who just became a chiropractor in the Philippines?

Adam: Aw, look. The doggy likes me. Okay, doggy, that's enough. Hey, I said that's enough!

Kavan: Hey, I'm Kavan. Aren't you the girl that tried to make me eat a basketball in gym class?

Bree: Oh! You remembered!

Adam: I'm warning you, dog, you're messin' with the wrong guy!

Kavan: So, there's this party tonight. You wanna go?

Bree: A party? I've never been to one. I mean, yes, I have! My whole life's a party! You're invited. Wanna dance?

Adam: No! It's my Salisbury steak!

Dingo: Grr! Grr!

Leo: Why are Adam's eyes turning red?

Dingo: Heh heh heh... Heh heh heh...

Chase: Oh, no! His heat vision!

Leo: His what?

Chase: It's a glitch. Whenever he gets too upset his heat vision acts up!

Cheerleaders: We're dingoes, we're here, there's nothing-- watch out!

( screaming )

Bree: I got her! I got her!

( thud )

Bree: Oh. Oops. Overshot it. But don't worry, I know a chiropractor in the Philippines.

( groaning )

. . .

Donald: I hope we're not too late.

Tasha: Do you smell smoke?

Donald: We're too late.

( fire alarm )

Chase: People. People. Statistics show that if we don't panic, at least 70% of us will make it out alive.

( all screaming )

( screaming continues )

Tasha: Oh, no! They killed Dooey Dingo!

Adam, Bree, Chase & Leo: Heh heh heh heh...

Donald: So... how was school?! Get in the helicopter!

. . .

Donald: Do you realize what you've done? I had to write a check to that school for 30 grand to make this go away.

Leo: For 30 grand, I'll go away.

Bree: We're sorry. We just wanted to be normal for a day.

Tasha: Oh, come on, Donald, they're just kids. When I was their age, me and Fiona Micklejohn, we snuck out and we crashed– You know what? I'm not helping.

Donald: Look, I designed you guys to go on highly classified missions, not try out for the cheerleading squad.

Adam: Oh... well, there goes that dream.

Leo: Look, I know you're mad, Big D, but these guys performed the impossible today-- They made me popular. I got game!

Chase: And I cured male pattern baldness with a biology rat.

Bree: Ooh! And I got invited to my first party! By a boy!

Tasha: How exciting! We gotta get you clothes and shoes, and we'll do-- again, not helping.

Donald: That's it. Leo, you are banned from the lab. And you three are to have no contact with the outside world. No talking, no texting, no nothing.

Adam: Ooh! What about the last art of pantomime?

Donald: Go to your tubes!

. . .

Adam: So, do all fuzzy animals have girls inside them, or just the dingoes?

Chase: If Mr. Davenport's such a great scientist, then how come I'm not a little stronger and you're not a lot smarter?

Adam: I don't know... but does this hurt?

Chase: Ohh!

Bree: Now I'm never gonna have a boyfriend. Guess I'll just keep fake-kissing that wall. Oh, we've all done it!

Chase: Leo, what are you doing? You're not allowed to be down here!

Leo: I know, but you know that party everyone at school's been talking about?

. . .

Leo: It's in your living room!!! Do the Leo! Do the Leo! Do the Leo! Do the Leo! Now just the sexy people!

Chase: Whoo!

Adam: Yeah!

Chase: Leo, I can't believe you did this!

Leo: Yeah, I owed you guys, and since you couldn't go, I brought the party here. Cheese curl?

Adam: What about your mom and Davenport?

Leo: They're at dinner. They'll be gone for hours.

( beeping )

Leo: Jimmy, get your head out of there. It's a microwave.

Bree: Kavan! Is that thing throbbing?

Kavan: Yeah! And if it's not better by Monday, they're gonna drain it.

Chase: Careful there, buddy. That piece of cake has approximately 47 grams of sugar. If you eat it, you'll be bouncing off the walls for hours.

Adam: How do you know that?

Chase: 'Cause I just had 12 pieces! Whoo-hoo!

Adam: Raahhhh! Whoo-hoo!

( shouting continues )

Chase: Whoo-hoo!

Donald: What the--

( horn honking )

Leo: Hey, you're back! How did these people get here?!

Tasha: You are in big trouble, mister.

Donald: Hey, everybody! Thanks for coming. Get out!!!

( door closes )

Donald: You kids have really done it this time. And who gave Eddy cake?!

Leo: I just wanted them to have one more night of fun before you put them back in their display cases.

Donald: Biologically regulated atmospheric chambers. Look, the fun's over. As of tomorrow, you're all being relocated permanently.

Adam, Bree & Chase: What?!

Donald: What part of "no contact with the outside world" did you not understand?

Bree: Where are we going?

Donald: To one of my remote research facilities where you can complete your training.

Adam: But this is home. This is where I get my meaty-flavored pellets.

Donald: Not anymore. Now go downstairs and pack your stuff.

Leo: This isn't fair. They're my best friends.

Tasha: Donald, when are you going to realize that they're not just science projects? They're teenagers.

Eddy: Any chance we can ship her off, too?

Donald: No!

Eddy: Okay, just checking.

. . .

Bree: I can't believe this is our last night in the lab.

Chase: I think Leo's really gonna miss us.

Adam: Yeah, me too. Think we should wake him up?

Bree: No, let him sleep.

Adam: But he's drooling on my socks.

Part 2

Leo: What're you doing?

Chase: If Davenport is gonna ship us off to some remote facility, then the office supplies are coming with us.

Bree: We just got our first taste of normal life. I was this close to getting a curfew which I was totally gonna break.

Adam: Oooh! But maybe when we get to wherever we're going, we'll meet a sassy lab chimp named Bobo who will take us on adventures and teach us how to love.

Chase: Or maybe you'll make him angry and he'll maul you and snack on your fingers.

Adam: Hey. I create the monkey fantasies around here.

Eddy: Well, kids, I hope you've enjoyed your stay at casa Davenport. I know I haven't. Sayonara!

Bree: Eddy, I know we've never been the best of friends, but we're gonna miss you.

Eddy: Aw, really?

Adam: No!

Bree: We hate you!

Chase: You're evil!

Leo: Where is this training facility anyway?

Eddy: Facility X? Oh, it's all the rage.

Chase: That's pretty nice.

Eddy: Oops! Sorry! That's my screen saver. You're going here.

Chase: Forget about office supplies. We should be gathering wood.

Leo: Man. I wish I hadn't thrown that party. I can't help but think this is all my fault.

Adam: Oh, that's because it is all your fault.

Bree: Adam, he was only trying to help us.

Adam: Well, yeah, but he did the opposite, which is not help us. The not makes it the opposite. I'm just so bummed. It's the only place we've ever known.

Chase: Yeah. Just think about all the memories we've shared here.

Donald: If the atom has too many or too few electrons, the atom is called an ion, and it has a positive or a negative charge. And that's how batteries are made! The end. Whoa. Whoa. Okay, Adam. You can put me down now.

( giggles )

Donald: Hey! Come back with that!

( giggles )

Donald: Come back with that book! Look what you're doing, you're kicking up all this dust, you're gonna make Chase's super senses glitch, and he's gonna--

( sneezes )

( giggles )

Donald: Sneeze.

Leo: I can't let Davenport send you guys away. Let me talk to him. No one can say no to this million-dollar smile.

. . .

Donald: No!

Leo: But what if--

Donald: Uh-uh.

Leo: Don't you think--

Donald: Forget it.

Leo: What if you--

Donald: La la la!

. . .

Leo: Well...I'm pretty sure he's gonna think about it.

. . .

Tasha: Leo, there you are. Honey, I know you're sad about your friends leaving. But think of all the time you'll get to spend with me. Oooh! We can play your little video game. You know, the one where you hold the thingy and you move the other thingy.

Leo: Mom, with all due respect, it is way too late in life for you to learn video games.

Donald: Good morning, happy family.

Tasha: What is that?

Leo: Whatever it is, don't get too attached.

Donald: Look, Leo, I know you're gonna miss Adam, Bree and Chase. So, I laser scanned their features onto these biosynthetic robots and I programmed them with their core personality traits. Is this great or what? It'll be like they never left.

( clanging )

Leo: Ah!

Donald: What do you think?

Leo: I think the excitement of having a billionaire dad just wore off.

Tasha: Donald, I don't know about this. I kind of prefer Leo to have friends who can't malfunction and tear him limb from limb.

Bree: What are those?

Leo: Oh, Dr. Franken brain here is trying to replace you with creepy robots. Welcome to crazy town.

( beeping, warbling )

Robot Adam: Good morning. The time is 11:22 and the temperature is currently 68 degrees.

Adam: You made a robot of me that just stands around telling people the time and the temperature? That's the coolest thing I've ever seen!

Bree: Does my nose really look like that?

( warbling )

Robot Bree: No. Yours has a faint moustache underneath.

( laughter )

Robot Chase: Hey, everyone. I'm Chase. Let's do, ma-- ma-- ma-- math.

( warbling )

( laughter )

Chase: That is not funny.

Adam: No, you're right. It's fuh-- fuh-- fuh-- funny.

( doorbell chimes )

Donald: Hey, Fitz. How's it going? How's life? How's tricks? Alrighty then. You guys should've seen him at the Christmas party. He's a karaoke master.

Bree: Well, I guess this is it. Thanks for everything, Leo.

Chase: Yeah, you're the best friend we've ever had.

Adam: No, he's the only friend we've ever had.

Tasha: Well, don't forget to bundle up on your deadly missions.

Donald: Hey, remember, this is a good thing. Without any distractions, you might finish your training early.

( warbling )

Eddy: Whoo hoo! They're gone!

Donald: Eddy--

Eddy: I mean, have a safe trip. I love you.

. . .

Robot Adam: Hello, insert your name here. Would you like to engage in silly, happy, fun time?

Leo: Get lost. You can't replace my real friends. I really loved those guys.

Robot Chase: Don't be sad, Mr. Leo. Friends come and go. But robots are forever. Dibbly. Dibbly. That is my version of a laugh. Dibbly. Dibbly.

Leo: Will you tin heads get out of here?

Robot Chase: Sensing human hostility.

Robot Bree: Must exterminate.

Robot Adam: Robots attack.

Eddy: Yeah, go robots! Get him! Crush him! Go for the brain!

Robot Adam, Bree & Chase: Destroy Leo. Destroy Leo.

( screams )

Bree: Leo, Leo. We're not robots. It's really us.

Leo: Huh?

Chase: We told the driver we forgot something, and then we swapped the robots in our place.

Adam: You said you loved us. You said you loved us.

( loud kisses )

Adam: Ow!

Leo: It is you guys! Wait, what about Davenport?

Adam: We'll just have to act like dumb robots every single time he's around.

Bree: It'll be easier for some of us than others.

Donald: Hey, Leo.

Leo: Big D, Donny, man of the house!

Donald: What're you doing, buddy?

Leo: What am I doing? I am hanging with my robo-fake people friends. ( sings ) Ain't no party like a robot party 'cause a robot party don't stop.

Donald: See, I told you you would like them.

Leo: Like 'em? I love 'em!

Donald: Oh, you know the greatest thing about having robots is?

Leo: What?

Donald: They are virtually indestructible.

Leo: Huh?

Donald: Watch this.

( crackling )

Leo: Quit it!

Donald: No, it's okay. He can't feel a thing. He's a robot.

( crackling, shuddering )

Donald: Ha ha! They are so incredibly lifelike.

( crackling, shuddering )

Bree (Robot Bree): Don't even try it.

Donald: Oooh, you're a feisty robot, you. You wanna give it a try?

Leo: No.

Donald: Come on, do it.

Leo: I'm fine.

Donald: Just do it once. It's a lot of fun.

Leo: Fine!

( screams )

Leo: You're right. It is fun.

. . .

Leo: All right, let's make this quick so we can get out of here. Adam, for breakfast you get wheat bread and a side of sugar packets.

Adam: My favorite!

Leo: Bree, you get two old wings and a drumstick from the Chicken Shack.

Bree: Oooh!

Leo: And Chase, you can have the peel to my banana.

Chase: I'm not eating a banana peel.

Leo: You don't eat it. You just chew it till all the flavor's gone.

Tasha: Leo! What's going on?

Leo: Mom! Look at you. In the kitchen. We are just having a healthy breakfast.

Tasha: Honey, they're robots, they don't eat.

Leo: All right, anyway, I was thinking, today might be a good day to take them to school with me.

Bree: Yes! I mean, bee-dee-beep. Dee-dee-beep-beep. Beep.

Tasha: Leo, you're not taking robots to school. Your teachers already think you're a little weird.

Leo: What makes you say that?

Tasha: Because on your last progress report, it said "We think Leo's a little weird."

Leo: Mom--

Tasha: Go to school.

Leo: Fine. You guys stay out of trouble until I get back home. Hug it out.

Donald: Hey, honey.

Tasha: Donald, you have got to get rid of those robots. Leo thinks they're real. He needs to be around normal kids.

Donald: Honey, when I was growing up, I never hung out with normal kids.

Tasha: And your best friend is a computer in the wall.

Eddy: I guess you lost that battle. Huh, Tasha?

Tasha: Donald, I don't want them around. They're... creepy.

Donald: Well, what am I supposed to do? Just throw them away?

( all gasp )

Tasha: No, I would never expect you to just throw them away.

( all sigh )

Tasha: Recycle them.

( all gasp )

Donald: Wait, you want me to take my genius technology and have it crushed and melted down and turned into hubcaps? No way.

( all sigh )

Tasha: Either they go, or I turn your lab intro my walk-in closet.

Donald: Three crushed robots coming up.

( gasp )

Adam: What? He said he was getting rid of the robots. Ye--Oh!

. . .

Leo: Where are the robots? I ran all the way home, and I wasn't even being chased!

Tasha: Leo, the robots are gone. We just dropped them off at the recycling facility.

Leo: You what?

Donald: Yep. They're being melted down as we speak. Don't tell anybody. They're probably toxic.

Leo: No! We have to go get them! They're not robots, they're real!

Tasha: Okay, see, this is why I didn't want those things around. He's delusional.

Leo: No. It's really Adam, Bree and Chase. You have to believe me! There isn't much time!

Tasha: Leo, stop.

Donald: Leo, when I was your age, I had to say goodbye to a lot of my friends. There was Lava Man and Stretch Legstrong and Jo Jo Biggs and all of his friends in the space cantina.

Leo: Those are all action figures.

Donald: More like fully poseable pieces of my heart.

. . .

( screaming )

Adam: That was awesome!

Bree: Great plan, Adam. Let's just hide in the recycling truck and see where we end up.

Adam: Well, who could've predicted that the recycling truck would dump us in the recycling center?

Chase: I had my suspicions. Look, we have to find a way out of this place.

Adam: Yeah, I wanna go home.

Chase: We can't go home. If Davenport sees us, he's just gonna try and send us away again.

Adam: Oh, right. Well, then let's just go find a new scientist/father with a high-tech basement lab and live there. You know? Done and done.

Bree: Look! There's a door right there!

Adam: Oh, come on. Well, Bree, you're the fastest, so you should go first.

Chase: You know what? There's plenty of distance between us and that. We're fine.

( screams )

( whirring )

Chase: And by fine I mean we're all gonna die!

( all scream )

. . .

( alarm blares )

Eddy: Intruder! Intruder!

Donald: Eddy, it's just Tasha.

Eddy: Oh.

( alarm blares )

Eddy: Intruder! Intruder!

( musical ringtone )

Donald: Hello? Yeah, I'll accept the collect call from Facility X. Fitz, I know it's you. I can hear you breathing. You what?What're you talking about? What kind of an idiot doesn't know the difference between a robot and a bionic superhuman--You know what? Don't answer that question.

( hangs up )

Donald: The kids never showed up. They sent the robots in their place.

( gasps )

Tasha: So Leo was--?

Donald: Telling the truth the whole time.

Tasha: Eddy, where's Leo?

Eddy: Oh, he left. Something about a recycling center, neglectful parents, life and death, blah blah blah.

Donald: Why didn't you tell us any of this?

Eddy: You didn't ask.

. . .

( grunting )

Adam: Ooh, five pockets. Hey, you guys think I should try these on?

( warbling )

Chase: Okay, it takes three seconds to clear the crusher. Adam, if you time it right, you can use your super strength to resist the force and we can all slide under it.

Adam: Yeah, but what if I don't time it right?

Chase: Try to time it right.

( loud whirring )

Adam: Now what?

( loud clanging )

Chase: Okay, once these jaws close, we have exactly 1.7 seconds to get through.

Bree: I got this. Grab on. Okay, now all we have to do is get past this fire and we're home free.

Adam: Oh, it's nothing, it's just a little-- Whoa.

Bree: What are we gonna do?

Adam: Look, okay, if we're not gonna try to escape, I'm gonna go back for my jeans.

Bree: Chase, what's wrong?

Chase: All this burning trash is making my super senses-- Aaaa-choo! Glitch.

Adam: Sweet. You put it out with your snot cannons.

Bree: Come on. Let's get out of here.

( screaming )

Adam: Leo?

Leo: No. It's Oprah. Get me out of here!

Bree: Mr. Davenport!

Adam: Hello, we are robots.

Chase: Dude, I think he knows.

Adam: Well, now he does.

( screams )

Tasha: Leo!

Donald: I'll find somebody to shut it off.

Bree: There isn't enough time!

Chase: Guys, I have an idea.

. . .

( screaming )

Adam: Ah, it never gets old.

Chase: Leo. What're you doing here?

Leo: I came to save you guys.

Adam: Oh, thanks. We're good. Ha. Sweet kid.

Bree: Come on, let's do this.

Chase: Okay, Leo, hold on to Adam. We're gonna surround you and then we'll all go through it together, okay? Three, two--

Leo: Hey, what's that?

( recycler stops )

Chase: That would be the off button.

Adam: Yeah. Oh, you guys didn't see that?

. . .

( warbling )

Eddy: Oh, thank heavens! You all made it home safe and sound and ( raspberry ).

Donald: I don't know what you kids were thinking pulling a stunt like that. You could've seriously hurt yourselves.

Adam: Yeah, but you gotta admit, my robot accent was dead on.

Chase: Can we please take him back to the recycling center?

Tasha: And, Leo, why didn't you tell us that Adam, Bree and Chase were still here?

Leo: Because I was trying to protect my friends. And I'm still gonna protect my friends. That's right. You wanna send them away, you have to go through me first. It's go time, little man. It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. There's a lot of fight in this little doggie. Come on! Uh-huh!

Donald: Leo, calm down. They're not going anywhere.

Leo: Oh, don't you-- Wait, what?

Donald: Watching you guys risk your lives for each other made me realize something. Maybe I've been focusing too much on training the super human side of you, and I forgot all about the human part.

Adam: Awww. I don't get it.

Donald: You're teenagers. And bionic or not, you deserve to experience teenager things. Like school and classes and cell phones.

Bree: Yes! A cell phone! I'm living the dream. Whoo.

Donald: Yeah, you're not getting a cell phone. But what I can give you is another chance. Maybe there's a way that you can live here, go to school, and go on missions.

Chase: Are you serious?

Leo: So they can stay?

Donald: On one condition. No one can ever find out about your abilities. And you have to control your emotions so you don't glitch.

Chase: Done.

Adam: Okay.

Bree: Absolutely.

Donald: All right, then, welcome home.

Adam: Whoo hoo! Yeah! ...whoops!

Leo: He has plasma grenades? My life just got a whole lot better.

. . .

Tasha: You know, I'm just not sure about the throw pillows. They're a little plain. So, I got these. Are they too busy?

Donald: No.

Tasha: So you like them?

Donald: I do if you do.

Tasha: You are so sweet.

( laughter )

Real Donald: That robot may be my greatest invention ever.

( electricity crackling )

Tasha: What the--? Donald!

Adam, Bree, Chase & Leo: Uh-oh, Busted!