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This page is a transcript for Spike's Got Talent. Please add to the contents of this page, but only sentences and parts that pertain to the episode Spike's Got Talent. |
This is a transcript of the episode Spike's Got Talent. It's still under construction.
Transcript
(Adam & Leo are at Mission Creek High, reading a yearbook of the school when Chase walks to them) Chase: Did you guys see the yearbook? Everybody but me got a "Most likely to...". Even Leo!
Leo: What? Let me see that. (Reads) "Most likely never to get a 'most likely'". I'm on the board!
Chase: Well, that proves it. I'm completely invisible at this school.
Adam: Chase, that's not true. If you were invisible, I couldn't do this. (Punches Chase in the chest)
Chase: Ugh!
Bree: Chase, just because you weren't nominated doesn't mean you're invisible.
Chase: Oh, really? Yeah? What's this? "Chip Davenport". I'm a misnamed question mark!
Perry: (Walks in) Wussup, snot-buckets? Don't forget to sign up for the annual Mission Creek High talent show. Auditions are after school, and we'll be judged, by (Points at herself) moi. Chances are that if I don't like you, you won't get through, and I don't like any of you, so good luck.
Owen: Talent shows are wrong! There are no winners or losers in creative expression.
Perry: Stick a paintbrush into it, Emo Sabe!
Owen: I refuse to stand by while that woman crushes the artistic souls of our student body. I'm gonna go sketch my feelings! (Walks away)
Bree: (Obviously in love) He is so tortured. Isn't it great?
Leo: This talent show is the perfect opportunity for me to build my fan base!
Chase: Leo, you don't have a fan base.
Leo: I know. That's why I have to build one. With magic!
Chase: Well, that is what it would take.
Leo: No. I got a magic kit and I've been practicing, specifically for the competition.
Chase: A magic kit? Isn't that kind of lame?
Leo: There is nothing lame about buying something off the Internet to make friends. (Walks over to two girls) Hello, ladies. Would you like to see a card trick? (Pulls out the card) Okay, this is your card. Hey, what's that in your hair? (Pulls the card out of one of the girls' hair) Bam! See? Magic.
Chase: You know what my problem is? All of my talents are bionic, and I can't reveal them at school.
Leo: Aw. Bionic people problems.
Chase: Hey– Give me those cards. Come on. Gimme. Watch this. (Walks over to two girls) Hello, ladies. Pick a card, any card. Put it back in. (Pulls out the cards) Is this your card? This one? This one? This one? This one?
(Leo pulls out a card)
Leo: Boom. Magic.
(Theme song)
(Next scene. A kid is at the talent show, singing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" with water in his mouth)
Perry: Next! Don't you spit that out! You swallow that disgusting performance!
Leo: A-ha!
Perry: Ugh! Dooley. Next!
Leo: Come on. Give me a chance.
Perry: Ah, fine. Just get it over with.
Leo: Three solid steel rings, pass right through each other to become interlocked. Locked solid, right? (the rings disappear)
( Perry laughs. A'pplause)
Perry: Wow! That wasn't awful! All right, you're in.
Leo: For my next trick, I'll leave while I'm ahead.
(Chase comes on stage)
Perry: What's your talent? Other than having my middle school haircut.
Chase: I am the smartest man to ever live. Break out your online dictionaries, people. I can spell any word.
Perry: I got one for ya: "snoozefest". Ha ha ha! (the audience boos and throws lumps to Chase) Next!
Chase: No! No! I have another talent! I can do magic!
Leo: Oh, no, you can't.
(Chase activates his molecular kinesis ability, levitating all lumps lying around him)
Perry: Whoa-ho! (audience cheers as Chase pivots and the lumps follow) Whoa! (laughs as Chase shoots the lumps back into the audience) Ha ha ha ha! Yeah! Wow! That was amazing! (the audience claps) Dooley, you're out. Little Dutch boy, you're in.
Leo: Great job, Chase. Hey, maybe for your next trick, you can remove this knife from my back!
(Next scene. Owen is in the living room with Bree)
Owen: I have to do something to protest Perry's talent show. Something that will take her and the entire establishment down. (sits down on the couch)
Bree: (flirting) Are ya thinking what I'm thinking? Lets-
Owen: Build a sculpture!
Bree: Of course! A sculpture! We are so in sync!
Owen: A sculpture will symbolize how authority suffocates creative expression. We can put it right in front of the entrance of the school, where everyone will see it. The question is, what do we make it out of?
Bree: Ice?
Owen: No.
Bree: Clay?
Owen: Too obvious.
Bree: Plaster?
Owen: Really?
Adam: (eating pizza in the kitchen) Butter?
Owen: (gets up, pointing to Adam) What did you say?
Adam: Butter. Everything's better with butter. Probably even your heart.
Owen: Butter is the perfect substance. Milk is fluid, like creativity, but when you judge creativity, you beat it, and churn it, until it becomes butter. Clogging the oteries of expression.
Adam: (swallows) That was a lot of words.
Owen: Adam, you wanna help me make a sculpture out of butter?
Adam: (drops his pizza) I've been waiting for someone to ask me that my whole life. (rushes away with Owen)
(...)
Spike: Hey! You wanna see me move that chair with my head?!
Leo: Hope he's doing an impression, 'cause that voice sounds an awful lot like Spike...
(Spike takes the chair and breaks it on his head, then he roars and drops the pieces)
Perry: Whoa!
(audience claps)
Leo: Yep, that's Spike.
(Commercials)
Perry: (enters the stage with Leo & Spike) Well, there's a fine line between entertaining and disturbing and... I think we've crossed it. So, let's take a brief intermission.
(...)
(Next scene. Adam & Owen enter with a massive pair of glasses, only to find their sculpture completely molten)
Adam: (gasps) Butter Perry escaped! You check the bus station, I'll check the pancake house.
Bree: (enters the room. Badly acting surprised) Oh no, what happened?
Owen: I don't get it, butter doesn't melt at room temperature. Now we can't rebuild it in time for the talent show.
Bree: Hm. Tragic, now let's go see a movie, come on. (pulls Owen with her to the door)
Eddy: Smoll your rools, shirley. Check out this movie! (replays the scene of Bree ordering Eddy to crank up the heat full blast)
Owen: Bree, how could you?
Bree: I'm sorry, but you were spending so much time with Adam, I just got jealous.
Owen: So you purposely sabotaged me? I'm gonna go sketch my disappointment. (exits)
Adam: When he's done, I'm hangin' it up on the fridge.