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This is a complete transcript of the episode The Curse of the Screaming Skull.

Transcript

(in the common area)

Chase: Hey, Leo, where you been?

Leo: I just finished watching a 24-hour horror movie marathon. I was so scared, I chewed through all my fingernails. But on the bright side, I had a big bowl of popcorn, so they were delightfully tasty.

Bree: Guys, how is our first Halloween at the academy going to be spooky when all we have is this pathetic little box of Halloween decorations? And, uh, what is this disgusting slime in the trick-or-treat bowl?

Adam: Oh, that's not slime. That's last year's pumpkin. You know, I'm surprised it didn't keep. (sniffs it and gags)

Bree: Ew!

(Bob walks in)

Bob: Hey, guys.

Chase: Bob, what are you doing here? All the other students are out with Mr. Davenport on a field trip to the Davenport birthplace and museum.

Bob: Gosh darn it, I can't believe I'm missing that.

Bree: Really, Bob?

Bob: Oh, come on. Part of the tour is him re-enacting his birth.

Adam: This kid might be smarter than we thought.

Bob: Ooh, smoothie, (grabs the bowl with last year's pumpkin and walk away)

Adam: Maybe not. (follows him out of the room)

(Perry walks in)

Perry: Later, machine people. I'm taking the metal detector to the beach to look for other people's money.

Leo: So what, you're done going through our wallets?

Perry: Yep. How do you think I paid for this thing? (holds up metal detector)

(Douglas walks in)

Perry: If you need me, I'll be at the island across the way.

Douglas: What island? The deserted one?

Perry: Yeah. Care to join me? There's room for two in my inflatable kayak. If you're good, we could play shipwrecked passenger and curious island native.

Douglas: How about we play shipwrecked passenger and rescue pilot who just keeps flying?

Bree: Hey, I've always wondered about that island. Ooh, maybe there are waterfalls.

Leo: And caves.

Chase: And maybe we'll be introduced to cool new species of insects.

Bree: And then, we can introduce them to an uncool species of human.

Douglas: Trust me. You don't wanna go to that island. From what I hear, that place is uninhabited for a reason. It's a scary jungle full of venomous snakes, rabid bats, and toxic plants that cause rashes.

Perry: Rashes don't bother me. I'm rarely without one.

Douglas: I'm headed to the mainland for a supply run. Just promise you won't go there.

Perry: Sure. No problem.

(Douglas leaves via hydraloop)

Perry: Well, I'm off to that other island.

Chase: Hey, Douglas just told you not to go there.

Perry: Yeah, well, the only voices I listen to are the three inside my head.

(theme song plays)

...

(at the other island)

Leo: Douglas was right. This place is creepy. (animal squawks) Okay, seen it, saw it, done, Dooley out.

Bree: Leo. I can't believe you. You just watched a horror movie marathon and now you're scared?

Leo: I am not scared. I wanna leave for a very manly reason. I have a blister on my pinky toe.

Chase: The island is full of animals I've never seen before. Some of them aren't even in my database. (rustling noise in bush) Whoa! Here comes one crashing through the underbrush. I bet it's an exotic wild boar!

(Perry comes out from the bush)

Bree: You were right.

Leo: Why are you wearing gloves?

Perry: Don't wanna devalue any rare finds with my oily fingers. Also, I'm on an island with three people I despise. Mom always said, "Never leave fingerprints."

Chase: Have you ever even found anything valuable with that thing?

Perry: For your information, I found my grandma's lost wedding ring. It's been in my family for generations.

Bree: Wow. That's actually kind of sweet.

Perry: Yeah. I made a bundle on it when I sold it back to her.

Chase: Well, this island is obviously uninhabited, so I highly doubt you'll find anything here.

Perry: (metal detector beeps) Jackpot!

(Perry starts digging where the metal detector went off, throwing sand behind her)

Perry: (holding up skull) Oh! Payday! A skull found out here in the middle of nowhere. It's gotta be some sort of treasure. I'm gonna make a fortune!

Leo: You know that's not a real skull, right? It's made of metal.

Perry: Looks more human than those two.

Bree: I've heard about ancient relics being taken from their resting place. They say bad things happen to the people that remove them.

Perry: What harm is taking a little old skull gonna do? Let's let Boney decide. Hey, Boney, do you mind if I take you? (with accent for skull's voice) Of course not. Sell me. Just keep me away from these losers.

Chase: Look, that skull is creepy, and more importantly, it doesn't belong to you. Leave it.

Perry: You guys are wimps. Fine. If you're freaked out, I'll put it back.

Chase: Good.

Leo: Let's go.

(Bree, Chase, and Leo leave the clearing)

Perry: Suckers. Come on, Boney, let's get out of here. You remind me of my grandma the second time I took her ring.

...

(in the training area)

(Adam is setting up a scary Halloween decoration when Bob walks in)

Adam: Hey, Bob, check out this prank I set up for Halloween.

Bob: Awesome. Who's Halloween?

Adam: Halloween is not a person. It's the best holiday ever. Oh, right, you're a blank slate because of Krane's mind control.

Bob: Plus, I don't have a good memory. And I'm not a very good listener. Plus, I don't have a good memory.

Adam: Halloween is a holiday where you scare people. You can help me prank Chase, Bree, and Leo.

Bob: Cool.

Adam: Here they come. Quick, distract them so I can spring this on them. They'll never see it coming.

Bob: On it.

(Adam hoists the ghoul decoration up and hides behind the wall, and Bree, Chase, and Leo walk in)

Bob: Hi, guys.

Bree: Hey, Bob, whatcha doing?

Bob: I'm distracting you so Adam can scare you with this fake Halloween thingy.

(Bree, Chase, and Leo look up and Adam makes a face from behind the wall)

Bree: I am so glad you and Adam found each other.

(Bree, Chase, and Leo leave and Adam walks out from hiding place)

Adam: Bob. You can't warn people they're gonna be scared before you scare them. Who would be scared when they know it's coming?

(the ghoul drops from the ceiling and Adam and Bob scream and hug each other)

...

(in the common area)

Perry: (typing on laptop) Authentic vintage collectible. Made out of...rare black gold.

(Bree, Chase, and Leo walk in)

Leo: She lied to us and took the skull from the island. We're cursed!

Perry: Relax. I've been with the skull all day. Nothing bad has happened to me. Eh, a little heartburn around noon. Got a chunk of hot dog stuck in the old air hose, but I'll work it out by dinner.

Leo: Just because nothing bad has happened yet doesn't mean it won't. In that movie, Skull Apocalypse, a group of kids dug up a cursed skull, and one by one, they all died horrible deaths because there's no cheating fate. We're all gonna die!

Bree: Good to see you're not over-reacting.

Leo: That's exactly what the pretty brown-haired girl said before she became the pretty brown-haired girl on a hook.

Chase: Perry, you shouldn't have taken it from that island. You don't know who buried it there or why.

Leo: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. In Skull Apocalypse, there was this really tall man in blue jean overalls, and he had no face.

Bree: Okay, Leo, relax. It was just a movie.

Leo: Was it, Bree? Or was it a premonition? We're all gonna die!

Bree: Stop saying that!

Chase: That is it! (grabs skull) This thing is going back where it belongs. (walks away)

Perry: Wait! They're already bidding on it. Oh, never mind. I'll just find a real skull and spray paint it. (to Bree) You got a nice one.

...

(in the training room)

Bob: Sorry I messed up your prank. But this will make up for it. Welcome to Bob's house of terror. Everything in the world I find horrifying.

Adam: Cool. Let's see what you got.

Bob: First up, (rips off sheet) a math test! And...(rips off another sheet) a potato whose eyes follow you no matter where you go. And finally, the most horrifying of all. (rips off sheet)

Adam: Come on, Bob. No one thinks Santa's scary.

Bob: Are you kidding? A strange man breaks into your house in the middle of the night and steals your cookies? No, thank you.

Adam: Bob, shh. He's watching.

Bob: He is?

Adam: Yeah. He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake. Oh my, he is creepy.

...

(in the Mentor's Quarters)

(Perry runs in screaming)

Bree: What's wrong?

Perry: Dooley was right. The skull is cursed. Over the last hour, I've had three near-fatal accidents. That's two more than my daily average!

Bree: Okay, what are you talking about?

Perry: First, I was in the shower when the glass door shattered into jagged pieces. Then, I drew a bath but the blow dryer fell in, electrocuting the water. So then, I hopped into the kitchen sink, but my foot got stuck in the garbage disposal!

Bree: Why were you that determined to get clean?

Perry: I'm like a lizard. Once a year, I shed my top layer. There's a whole skin outline of me circling the drain.

(creaking noise is heard)

Bree: What was that?

(the ceiling fan above drops to the floor)

Perry: See? What did I tell you?

Bree: Okay, okay, everyone just calm down. This is probably just a freakish coincidence. Nothing to be scared of.

(the knives from the counter launch at Leo, who blocks them by holding a book in front of his face)

Leo: That is not a coincidence. This is just like the movie. You brought the curse back, and now we're doomed!

Bree: Okay, everyone just calm down. If we stay still, nothing bad can happen to us, right?

(the fireplace launches a fireball at Perry's head, making her hair smoke)

Perry: (screams) My hairpiece!

Bree: Okay, well, there you have it. The curse is real, and her hair is not.

(the scene changes and Adam is now in the room with them)

Leo: The knives came flying right at me!

Bree: And the fireplace shot a fireball right at us!

Perry: That's why my hair smells like barbecue.

Bree: That's not why your hair smells like barbecue.

Leo: This is now officially a deathtrap island. (gasps) Just like in that movie Deathtrap Island.

(Bob walks in)

Adam: Okay, let me get this straight. Only the people who took the skull are cursed, right?

Leo: Yes.

Adam: Oh, cool. Then Bob and I are all good. Don't stand there, Bob. Bad things are gonna happen to 'em.

Bob: Oh, you mean the knives and the ceiling fan? That wasn't a curse. That was Chase.

Bree: What?

Bob: Yeah. I saw him setting up his own house of terror. He used his magnetism app to control those knives. I would've told you guys earlier, but I didn't want to ruin the surprise.

Bree: That doesn't make any sense. Why would Chase do that?

(Chase runs in holding the skull, face pale and eyes red, looking deranged)

Chase: Because I want to kill you!

(Adam, Bree, Leo, and Perry scream while Bob laughs)

Leo: The curse must've possessed him and made him crazy!

(Adam, Bree, Leo, and Perry run from the room screaming and Chase picks up knife)

Bob: Wow. Chase, you are way better at scaring people than Adam. You really look like you're gonna stab me.

(Chase lunges and Bob runs away screaming)

(in the common area)

Bree: I don't get it. Why would the skull only curse Chase?

Leo: This is exactly what happened in that other movie, When Cursed Friends Kill, where a curse made this kid turn into a monster and go after all his friends.

Bree: Okay, where do you even find these movies?

Leo: I had to special order that one from Finland.

Adam: Ah, Finland. A little-known fact. They invented dogs.

Bree: Okay, we have to stop Chase before he hurts anyone.

Perry: Here, robot, use my laser cuffs.

(Bree super speeds away and brings back Chase in the laser cuffs)

Bree: If this skull is really cursed, we have to get rid of it. I'm taking it back to the island. (Bree takes skull from Chase)

Bob: Wait. I'll miss you.

(Bree super speeds away, Adam grabs Chase, and Douglas arrives via the hydraloop)

Douglas: What's going on?

Perry: You came back to rescue me! Take me away from this place. We can live on the run. No looking back. I know a guy who can get us new passports and jobs at a tire factory in Uzbekistan.

Leo: This is all your fault, Perry. You're the one who brought the skull back from the island and cursed Chase!

Douglas: You went to the island?! The one I said specifically not to go to?

Perry: Sorry, Dougie. I've been a bad, bad girl. Let's work on my punishment together.

Douglas: And while you were there, you found a skull made of shiny black metal?

Leo: How did you know that?

Douglas: Because I know what's going on. It's not a curse. Chase has a virus that I created during my evil days. It turns people psychotic, and makes them want to annihilate everyone.

Leo: Why would you ever create such a thing?

Douglas: I was going through a rough patch, and wanted to watch societies destroy each other.

Perry: Can you say anything wrong?

Douglas: I never meant for it to be used. It was in my big box of evil. So when I saw that uninhabited island, I thought I might be able to bury my past where nobody would ever go.

Leo: Why didn't you just destroy the virus?

(Chase grabs Leo who starts screaming before being released)

Douglas: I guess I figured it would be good to have around in case I ever got the evil bug again.

Perry: Spend enough time with me and you're bound to catch something.

Bob: You guys are cute. I should grab Bree, and we can double date.

Douglas: The skull was just an old paperweight. It got contaminated when I spilled some of the virus on it. That's why I buried it. Anyone who touches it becomes a crazed maniac.

Chase: Crazed maniac.

Perry: But I'm the one who found it, and it didn't turn me evil.

Douglas: Probably because you're already there.

Leo: No, you were protected by the gloves you were wearing.

Adam: Wait, so Chase turned into a deranged maniac because of the virus you created?

Chase: Yeah!

Bob: This Halloween thing is way too complicated. When's the holiday where we go around the yard laying eggs?

Leo: Guys. This is just like the movie where--

Adam. Bob, Douglas, and Perry: Shut it!

Chase: Shut it!

Douglas: Where's the skull? We have to destroy it before anyone else gets infected.

Leo: (gasps) Bree has it. She's taking it to the island!

Douglas: What?! If she touched it, she's infected. We have to find her before it's too late.

Leo: This is just like that...Actually, this isn't like anything. I may go to Finland and pitch this to the studios.

Douglas: Look, Bob, watch Chase.

(Adam moves Chase to Bob and the rest of them leave)

Bob: Don't try anything funny, or I'm gonna write a letter to Santa and tell him all about you.

(Bree walks through the door, face pale and eyes red, looking deranged)

Bob: Wow, Bree. Your eyes look really pretty today.

Bree: I'm gonna rip out your heart.

Bob: You already have, snookums. You already have.

(scene changes and Bob is tied up and wearing laser cuffs)

Bob: Guys. Anybody?

(Adam, Leo, Douglas, and Perry run in)

Adam: Bob. What happened?

Bob: I found Bree. She's infected now, too.

Douglas: You're lucky she didn't hurt you.

Bob: Oh, she's going to. She just went to find a tool that will inflict the most pain. I think this may be the most attention she's ever given me.

...

(in the Mentor's Quarters, by the pool)

Chase: (sharpening knife) According to my calculations, we have a 62% of taking them out in one shot if we can lure them all in to the pool and charge the water with at least 100 volts of electrical current. But whoever's wearing rubber-soled shoes may be protected from the shock.

(Bree slaps him)

Bree: Stop talking, or I'm taking you out first. Let's go get 'em.

(Bree and Chase cackle and run from the room)

...

(in the common area)

Douglas: You know, when I made the virus, I probably should've created an antidote for it.

Leo: You don't have an antidote?

Douglas: No. When creating deadly viruses, the cure is somebody else's problem.

Perry: There's no cure for what I got for you, either.

Douglas: The virus has infected their human tissue. We'd have to be surgeons to remove it.

Adam: Great. So we send Bob to medical school, and meet back here in 20 years. Actually, better make it 21. I need a year to find myself.

Leo: What about Big D's nano-bots? They're like microscopic surgeons that seek out diseased cells and destroy them.

Douglas: But he told me he didn't bring those to the island.

Leo: That's because he didn't want you using them to experiment on the students.

Douglas: Yeah, that was a good call.

...

(in the common area)

Douglas: I put the nano-bots in this high-tech tranquilizer pen. We just have to get close enough to Bree and Chase to inject them into their bloodstream.

Leo: Let's go find them.

(the door to the training room opens and Bree is standing there)

Bree: (holding knife) No need.

(Leo, Douglas, Bob, and Perry scream and run the other way but Chase blocks them)

Chase: (holding knife) We found you.

(Bree and Chase use their bionics to prevent them from escaping or injecting them with the nano-bots, cornering them into a wall)

Bob: Oh, I don't like this. I wanna be a blank slate again!

(Adam walks in)

Adam: Trick or treat!

Leo: Adam, take 'em out!

(Adam's face is pale and eyes are red)

Adam: Actually, I'm gonna take you out. Let's do it, guys. (Bree and Chase go over to stand next to him)

Leo: Oh, no. He must've touched the skull, too. There's no way we can fight off three deranged bionic superhumans.

Perry: You're right, Dooley. We are all gonna die. You first.

(Adam sticks the nano-bot tranquilizer pen into both Bree and Chase and they fall to the floor)

Bob: What just happened?

Adam: I used my heat vision to fake like I was infected so I could get close enough to 'em (makes popping noise with mouth) to inject 'em.

Leo: Good thinking. But how'd you get your skin to look like that?

Adam: Oh, I used some of Bree's makeup. She's got some good stuff in her purse. Smell me. It's razzleberry body mist.

Douglas: Adam, I can't believe you came up with that idea all on your own. That may be the smartest thing he's ever done.

Adam: Yep, who knew it would come down to me and this little tranquilizer to save the day? (accidentally sticks self and falls to the floor)

...

(in the Mentor's Quarters)

Leo: You guys really don't remember anything about becoming possessed and trying to destroy us?

Bree and Chase: Nope.

Perry: And you don't remember borrowing $200 from me?

Bree and Chase: Nope.

Perry: Then it was $300.

Chase: I don't understand any of this. And how come there was a potato in front of my face when I came to? It's weird. It's like its eyes are following me.

Douglas: Well, it's time to get that skull back where it belongs. Buried with the rest of my evil past. Now, where is it?

(Bob walks in holding skull, face pale and eyes red, looking deranged)

Bob: It's right here. I'm going to destroy you all. Merry Halloween.

Adam: Come on, Bob. You know you're not supposed to touch that. Give it to me. (takes skull from Bob)

(everyone in the room groans)

Leo: I'll go get the nano-bots.

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