Three Minus Bree/Transcript

This is a complete transcript of the episode Three Minus Bree.

Transcript

(in the main school hallway)

Bree: Hey, did you guys know we had a study abroad program?

Adam: Why would I go to another country to do something I don't do here?

Bree: Look, it says you get to spend a whole semester at a high school in Australia. And guess what? I applied.

Leo: Cool! Kelly Porter went last year. She got sucker punched by a kangaroo.

Adam: Well, all right, I guess we're going to Australia.

Bree: Uh, no, no, no. No way. This is my thing. I mean, I can finally be on my own. I can study, travel, make new friends...

Chase: Mmm, I hate to be a wet blanket--

Leo: No, you don't.

Chase: But Mr. Davenport is never gonna let you do this. You can't go on missions if you're halfway across the world.

Bree: Well, sure I can. I mean, I haven't figured out all the details yet, but there's gotta be a way to make it work.

Leo: Not unless these two can unlock a new ability to make up for you not being here.

Adam: Ooh! Well, maybe I can unlock an ability where I disappear and reappear somewhere else. Let me try. (grunts) Did it work?

Chase: You didn't do it long enough. Try it again, this time, more grunting.

(Adam closes his eyes and starts grunting again. Chase beckons Bree and Leo and they walk around to the other side of Adam. Adam opens his eyes and they all start cheering)

Chase: You did it!

Leo: Yeah!

Bree: Whoo!

Adam: Oh!

(Theme song plays)

...

(in the living room)

Donald: Bree, is there something you wanna tell me?

Adam: I got this. Look, we all like you, but we think Tasha could've done better. (walks away)

Donald: I just got a phone call that said you'd been accepted to study in Australia.

Bree: Wait—What? That's crazy! Did they mention what day I'm leaving?

Donald: You're not going.

Bree: Why?!

Chase: Come on, Bree! It was obvious. Even Adam saw that one coming.

Adam: No idea what you're talking about. Already moved on to cold cuts.

Donald: You can't abandon the team. What if Adam and Chase picked up and left for a month?

Bree: Well then, I wouldn't have to go to Australia. I wouldn't just be leaving you guys. I can super speed back any time you need me.

Donald: That's not the only issue. What about your bionics? Your training? Your capsule?

Bree: Mr. Davenport, this is really important to me. Can't we at least discuss it?

Donald: We just did. You're not studying abroad, End of conversation. (leaves)

Bree: This is so unfair!

Adam: Don't worry, Bree, I'll get you to Australia. (grabs Bree's hand and starts grunting)

...

(in the lab)

Leo: Hey, check it out, Eddy. I'm repurposing one of Big D's old projects to impress him with my tech skills.

Eddy: Oh, so now you're failing with his ideas.

Leo: He created a neurotransmitter to help diagnose medical symptoms. The software is based on your smart home system.

Eddy: Well, we know you're good at one thing-– stealing.

Leo: It's really cool. You swallow this pill and it attaches to your cerebral cortex. Then it diagnoses the problem and sends a report to my computer.

Eddy: Wow! Who needs doctors when they got a sixteen-year-old crackpot with a magic pill?

(Tasha walks in wearing a bathrobe and holding a box of tissues)

Tasha: Hey, sweetie. How's it going? (sneezes)

Leo: Good. Are you still sick?

Tasha: Yeah, I think this cold is getting worse.

Leo: Fantastic! How would you like to try out my newest invention: The "Smart Body" system?

Tasha: Oh, no. I'm not a guinea pig.

Eddy: No, you're a different kind of--

Tasha: Shut it!

Leo: Oh, come on, Mom. This will let you know if this is just a cold or something more serious.

Tasha: Leo, I don't want some weird gadget floating around inside my body. You don't know anything about medical stuff.

Leo: Well, I don't have to. Big D made the technology. It will only take a few hours to work. Trust me, it's totally safe.

Tasha: I don't know, Leo.

Leo: Okay, I get it. You don't believe in me.

Tasha: Thanks for understanding, sweetie.

Leo: (loudly) Mom!

Tasha: Oh, okay, fine. Give me that. (swallows the pill)

Leo: Oh, and by law, I'm required to inform you of the possible side effects. Headache, nausea, hair loss, random twitching... (Tasha gasps) You know what, it'll just be faster if you read them. (hands her a huge stack of papers)

...

(in the living room)

(Bree walks in the front door)

Bree: Guess who just got invited to the Panic Inferno concert tonight?

Adam: Ooh! Brendan Delaney?

Bree: Me! Caitlin doesn't want to go alone because she's totally devastated.

Chase: Why is she devastated?

Bree: Her boyfriend dumped her! Isn't that awesome?! Whoo!

(Donald walks in)

Donald: Bree, I'm sorry, but you can't go. I have to extract your bionic chips tonight for a critical performance modification.

Bree: Can't we do that tomorrow?

Donald: No. I'm gone all day with a new product launch. Look, I wish I could go to the concert, too. You know I get the whole rock and roll thing!

Chase: Uh, people who get the rock and roll thing don't say, "I get the rock and roll thing."

Bree: Come on, Mr. Davenport, can't I just--?

Donald: No, I'm sorry, Bree, you can't go. (leaves)

Bree: Being bionic is ruining my life. I can't go to the concert, I can't go to Australia, I can't do anything!

Adam: Well, you could go get me some juice.

Bree: No. You know what, I don't care. I am going to that concert! (opens door and walks out)

Chase: Bree, what are you doing you can't just-- (door slams) Can you believe that?

Adam: What I can't believe is Caitlin had a boyfriend.

(they both laugh)

...

(in the living room)

(Tasha is on the couch blowing her nose when Leo walks in with a laptop)

Leo: Okay, the capsule had enough time to work through your body. Now I just need to activate the software and download the diagnosis.

Eddy: Seems like a lot of trouble. I say we just put her down.

Leo: Okay, done. (Eddy suddenly vanishes) We're up and running. Wait, where's the diagnosis?

Eddy: (from Tasha's body) What a surprise. You messed up again.

(both Tasha and Leo sit up straight, stunned)

Leo: Eddy?

Eddy: What's going on? Why do I have arms?! (looks into reflective plate and screams) What have you done to me?! I'm hideous! (bawls)

Leo: Oh, no. Oh, no! When I copied your schematics, I must have accidentally transferred you from our mainframe to the pill.

Eddy: (shaking him) What are you saying?!

Leo: Eddy... you're trapped in my mom's body.

Eddy: (crying) Oh... No, no, no! (looks in reflective plate) Ah, she even cries ugly!

...

(in the lab)

Donald: Okay, guys, we don't have a lot of time, so let's get to work on your chips. Where's Bree?

Chase: Uh...

Adam: (bursting out) She's at the Panic Inferno concert! Ugh! He broke me! This guy is good.

(scene changes and Donald walks into the lab with Bree)

Donald: I can't believe you went to the concert when I specifically told you not to!

Bree: I cannot believe that you jumped on stage and begged every member of the band to sign your t-shirt!

Donald: (scoffs) I most certainly did not! (turns around) I got all of 'em, didn't I? Huh? Look, that's beside the point! You are in big trouble!

Bree: Yeah, thanks for selling me out, guys!

Adam: Oh, you have no idea what we went through! He grilled us!

Donald: I said, "Where's Bree?"

Adam: At the concert. Oh, man, he got me again.

Donald: Look, because of you, we are three hours behind. Now the modification's gonna take all night. Now go get in your capsule so I can extract your chip.

Bree: Ugh, fine.

(Bree super speeds past Donald into her capsule)

Donald: I don't know what has gotten into you lately. You can't just do whatever you want whenever you want.

Bree: Trust me, you have made that abundantly clear. My life is not my own.

(Bree's chip is extracted and she steps out of her capsule)

Bree: Here, my chip.

(Bree hands her chip to Donald aggressively and he places it carefully on the console)

Bree: All I want is a little control over what I do.

Donald: Yeah, well, you're part of a team. That's not gonna happen.

Bree: So that means I have to give up my entire life because of it?

Donald: Yeah!

Bree: Well, if being bionic is going to stop me from having the life that I want...I don't wanna be bionic anymore. (grabs object)

Chase: Bree, what are you doing?

Bree: Getting my freedom. (smashes chip repeatedly with object)

Donald: Bree, no!

Chase: No!

(they all stand in silence)

Donald: What did you do?!

Adam: Well, she smashed her--

Donald: I know what she did! How could you do that?

Adam: She picked up that--

Donald: I got it! You have no idea what you've done.

Bree: I know exactly what I've done.

Adam and Chase: Ooh...

Donald: Then you know you've made the biggest mistake of your life.

Adam and Chase: Ooh...!

Donald: Now help me find the rest of your chip so I can try to fix it.

Bree: You know what? No.

Adam and Chase: (louder) Ooh...

Donald: Excuse me?

Bree: I said, "no."

Donald: Adam, Chase, can you leave us for a minute? I need to speak to Bree alone.

Bree: No, stay. There's nothing left to talk about. (Bree leaves)

Chase: Don't worry, Mr. Davenport, I'll go talk to her.

Donald: No. If she doesn't want her bionic abilities, she's off the team.

...

(in the living room)

Leo: Eddy, I keep trying to come up with a solution, but nothing's working.

Eddy: (off-screen) I'm shocked.

Leo: Look, we're just lucky Davenport's been in the lab all night and hasn't found out yet. What are you doing in there, anyway?

Eddy: (off-screen) Just freshening up!

(Eddy walks out wearing crazy clothes and bad hair and makeup)

Eddy: Ta-da! 

(Leo screams in shock)

Eddy: Doesn't she look great? Being human is awesome! Not only can I get sweet revenge on Tasha, but I can also do this. (starts rubbing Leo's head) Noogie, noogie, noogie, noogie, noogie, noogie, noogie! (laughs)

Leo: Stop messing around! You need to act normal. Pretend you're my mom.

Eddy: So an insufferable nag. Got it!

(Adam walks in)

Adam: Hey, Leo.

Leo: Hey! Hey, Adam, how are you?

Adam: Well, my word of the day calendar says "elaborate." So, I guess I'm elaborate.

(Eddy opens the fridge and pulls out dressing)

Eddy: Ooh!

Adam: Whoa! Tasha? You look great!

Leo: Mom, you can't have Thousand Island dressing, it makes you sick.

Eddy: Violently. (chugs from bottle) Ahh. Delicious! Uhhh... (bends over sink and throws up)

Adam: Leo, what's going on?

Leo: Okay, it's a long story, but I made a pill, my mom took it, and now Eddy's trapped inside her body.

Adam: Eh, it happens.

Leo: I need to run down to the lab and fix this. Just stay here and don't let him out of your sight.

Adam: Got it.

(Leo leaves)

Eddy: Well, I'm out of here.

Adam: Whoa, whoa, wait. Leo said I'm supposed to keep you here.

Eddy: No, he didn't.

Adam: Yes, he did.

Eddy: No, he didn't.

Adam: Yes, he did.

Eddy: You know what, he's right in the lab. Why don't you just run down there and ask him? I'll wait here.

Adam: Don't mind if I do.

Eddy: Hey! Can I get you anything from the mall?

Adam: Nope, I'm good. Thanks for asking.

...

(in the lab)

(Leo is working on the neurotransmitter when Bree walks in)

Bree: Leo, I just had the most awesome day. Now that I don't have bionics, I can do whatever I want, whenever I want.

Leo: Kinda busy. Can I get a rain check on caring?

Bree: I just finally know what it feels like to be normal. This morning I was supposed to meet Caitlin. I was an hour late. She's not talking to me. It's awesome!

Leo: It's a little bit early to cash in that rain check.

(Adam walks in)

Adam: Hey, Leo, did you tell me to keep your mom here or let her go out?

Leo: Keep her here!

Adam: Ah! Could've gone either way.

(Leo runs out of the room and Donald and Chase walk in)

Donald: Heads up. I just got a mission alert. There's a five-alarm fire at a chemical plant and the response team can't control it. Suit up. We have to get ahead of this thing before it spreads. Chase, you're gonna scan satellite images and try to pinpoint anyone who's trapped. Adam, you'll knock down the compound wall and rescue them. Me? (puts on jacket) I'll come along with you guys and try to help any way I can. (puts on sunglasses)

Chase: Yeah, you can come on the mission, but not dressed like that.

Adam: Yeah. The fire's already a tragedy, don't make it worse.

Donald: Just go!

(Adam and Chase run out)

Bree: Well, what can I do?

Donald: Nothing. You're not on the team anymore.

...

(in the living room)

(Leo is pacing around the room on the phone)

Leo: Eddy, pick up, pick up!

(Eddy walks in the front door)

Eddy: Ahh. What's up, peanut?

Leo: I have been trying to find you for hours. Where have you been?

Eddy: Making enemies! Let's just say Tasha's no longer welcome at the gas station, the grocery store, the dry cleaner, or zoo! Ha!

Leo: The zoo?

Eddy: Apparently you're not supposed to kick a lion when they're sleeping. She's gonna be sore tomorrow! (cackles)

...

(in the lab)

(Bree is pacing and Donald walks in, covered in soot)

Bree: You're back! Where are Adam and Chase?

Donald: They're putting their gear away.

Bree: Oh, well, I mean, I was starting to get worried. I mean, you guys were gone forever. Let me guess, Adam tried to transport you home by closing his eyes and grunting?

Donald: Actually, Adam was quite helpful.

(Donald walks away and Adam and Chase walk in, covered in soot as well)

Bree: Hey, guys. How was the mission?

Adam: Oh, it was terrible. You know, I was thinking about having my next birthday at a chemical plant, but now I just-- I just don't know.

Chase: We rescued everyone, but the mission took twice as long. Adam and I barely made it out alive.

Adam: Yeah, and in case you're wondering, heat vision does not put out fires.

Bree: Oh, well, I mean I'm sure it would've been just as dangerous if I had been there.

Chase: No. If you had been there, your super speed would've created a vortex and put out the fire instantly. Congratulations, Bree. I hope that being normal is worth it.

...

(in the living room)

(Leo and Eddy are tussling)

Eddy: Hey!

Leo: Big D is back. Go upstairs and hide. If he sees you, he'll freak.

Eddy: Okay, okay. There's just one last thing I need to do. (pulls out clippers) Hello, reverse mohawk!

Leo: No, no, no, no!

(they start fighting over the clippers and Donald walks in)

Donald:Whew! You would not believe the day I've had. (sees Eddy) Yours looks like it was worse.

Leo: Yep, she wins. We gotta go.

Donald: Where are you going? Can't I at least get a little good-bye kiss?

Eddy: Oh, you wish! Get away from me, pee-wee! Ew!

Donald: Was that Eddy's voice?

Leo: No.

Eddy: You bet-cha! (laughs)

Donald: Leo...what did you do?!

Leo: I put Eddy into a pill and then gave it to my mom and now he took over her body but I also got a B in French so let's focus on that!

(Eddy laughs)

Donald: Tasha, are you in there?

Eddy: Yes. And I only married you for your money, so dump me now!

Donald: Eddy!

Eddy: (laughs) Oh, relax, Donny. The old bag is fine. But not for long! Faceplant!

Donald: No!

(Eddy drops to the floor)

Eddy: Wow, she's got some bounce!

Donald: How could you do this, Leo?

Leo: Are you really that surprised?

Eddy: I'm gonna go jump off the roof!

Leo: No, you don't!

Donald: She's gonna jump off the roof!

(Donald and Leo chase Eddy up the stairs)

Leo: No! Come back!

(scene changes and Leo is holding Eddy down while Donald sets up the nasal extractor)

Donald: This is my nasal extractor.

Leo: Why did you create a nasal extractor?

Donald: Why does Adam keep shoving things up his nose?

Leo: Continue.

Donald: Wait, this baby really packs a punch. I don't know if I can use it on her.

Leo: I can!

Eddy: Wait, no, I'm not done yet! There's still a few people that like her!

(Leo puts the nasal extractor on Eddy and holds it down on his face. Donald turns on the extractor and sucks out the pill)

Leo: Yes, I got the capsule!

Donald: Oh. (giggles nervously) Tasha...

Tasha: What happened? Who did it? (takes out raw meat) And why is there raw meat in my hood?!

Eddy: (back in the wall) That's nothing. Wait until you see what's in your purse!

...

(in the lab)

Bree: You can probably guess why I'm here.

Adam: Chase and I didn't make it out of the fire and we're ghosts?!

Bree: I owe you an apology.

Adam: Yeah, well, you should've apologized when we were alive!

Bree: Look, I just wanted some freedom from being bionic. I never meant to put you guys in danger.

Chase: Well, you did.

Bree: I know. I was just thinking about me, instead of us. We're a family... and I was being selfish and I'm really sorry. I want back in.

Chase: Good. (smiles)

Adam: Whoa, wait a minute, we gotta vote on it. Hands? I'm looking for a three-fifths majority and someone to calculate it.

Chase: Adam, we don't have to vote.

Adam: Yeah. Get out! Oh, right, family, family, yadda-yadda, I got it. Bring it in.

(Adam, Bree, and Chase hug and Donald walks in)

Donald: What's going on?

Bree: Mr. Davenport, I messed up, and I'm sorry. I'm ready to be bionic again.

Donald: Well, I'm glad you feel that way, but I can't do that.

Chase: What do you mean? She apologized, and she wants back in.

Donald: I didn't create your chip—my brother did. And now that it's damaged so badly, I can't duplicate it.

Bree: Wait, what are you saying?

Donald: I don't know if you'll ever be bionic again.

...

(in the living room)

Tasha: (on the phone) So please tell your mom, dad...and dog, that I'm really really sorry. (hangs up) You are lucky, mister! Took me all day but I finally managed to smooth over all the messes Eddy made around town.

Leo: So Grandma and Grandpa are back together?

Tasha: What?!

Leo: Nothing. I'm just glad this is all behind us.

Eddy: Hey, did anyone catch the news last night?

(the news pops up on the screen and Eddy appears as Tasha on the channel)

Eddy: Hi. I'm Tasha Davenport, reporting from the scene of a terrible accident. This! Coming up, an exclusive interview with my butt. Hi everybody, I'm Tasha's butt. What a big story!

(Tasha starts screaming and tries to throw her shoe at Eddy)

Leo: No, no, no!