Which Father Knows Best?/Transcript

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Transcript

(Adam, Bree, Chase, Leo & Donald are in the lab)

Donald: Well, Bree, you smashed your chip so badly it's useless. But! I was able to replicate my brother's original chip and like my face, it's flawless.

Leo: Forget the chip. We need to get this dude a mirror.

Bree: Wait, so I'm actually going to be bionic again?

Donald: Yep.

Bree: Yes! (Gratefully hugging Donald) Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Donald: Your chip's almost ready.

(Chip fabricator dings)

Adam: Ooh! Snacks are done!

Donald: For the last time, this is not a microwave! It's a chip fabricator.

Adam: Call it whatever you want. I'm still making my mini pizzas in here.

Donald: Okay, Bree, hop in your capsule when you're ready for your new chip.

Leo: You know, Big D, if this works, maybe you can make a chip for me.

Donald: Please, your body can't handle high-fiber cereal.

(Bree steps out of her capsule)

Donald: So? How does it feel?

Bree: (matter-of-factly) Like a piece of metal just got jammed into my neck and fused to my nervous system!

Donald: Woo hoo! Success! Alright, now, give it a try, see how it worked.

Bree: Okay.

(Bree attempts to use her super-speed and ends up on the ceiling for a few seconds, destroying some pipes and ends up on the floor)

Adam: Well, she's still more useful than Chase!

(Theme song plays)

Donald: You know, technically speaking, your bionics are working...

Bree: (in a very low tone caused by her vocal manipulation glitching) You call this working?! (now in a very high tone) I can't control my vocal manipulation! I can't control anything!

Donald: I'm so close. It just needs a few tweaks!

Chase: (pulls Adam aside) Dude, we're in big trouble if he can't fix her. We need her speed and agility for missions!

Adam: Well maybe we'll just find someone to replace her.

Chase: We can't just replace her!

Adam: You're right. Let's just forget about her and move on! She's dead to me! (makes a sour face)

Chase: What's wrong?

Adam: I miss Bree! (bawls)

Leo: No offense, Big D, but if your brother's the one that created her original chip, then maybe we should just call him–

Donald: No! Forget about it! I never want to see that waste of space again.

Chase: But he's our only hope, and he's not all bad. He did save us from Krane.

Donald: (outraged) Yeah and you know what else he did? He blew up the lab, kidnapped you, and stole all my money.

Adam: All I'm hearing is adventure and excitement.

Donald: Look, I do not need any help from Douglas. I will fix this, okay? Give me a little credit. I happen to be a tech genius. (To Bree) Okay. Let's give it another go.

(Bree attempts to use her superspeed, but runs backwards and crashes)

Adam: Oh Mr. Davenport, you are not good at your job...

(Next scene: Davenport living room. Chase is sitting on the couch when Adam comes in the house)

Adam: Good news, Chase. I found a way to replace Bree's super-speed. Come on in! (an old lady enters) I found her outside of a supermarket. She couldn't remember where she parked, so she's ours now.

Chase: You wanna replace Bree... with an old lady? More importantly, you STOLE an old lady?

Adam: No, no. It's not stealing if she thinks you're her grandson. No it's perfect, she's so old no-one would ever suspect she's bionic.

Chase: Dude! Quiet!

Adam: No, don't worry. She can't hear a thing. Come on, Chase. Picture It.

(Vision appears. Adam & Chase are siting on chairs)

Adam: Oh bionic grandma, I'm cold! (Old lady arrives at super-speed, hand-knits a blanket at super-speed and covers Adam) Hmmmm... toasty! But now I'm hungry! (Old lady super-speeds to the kitchen, is back with cookies in seconds)

Chase: Sugar-free with chuncks of carrot? My favorite!

Adam: Hey dude, you're ruining my fantasy. Thanks, bionic grandma! (High-fives the old lady. End of vision)

Chase: Look, it doesn't work like that. You can't just give super-speed to a random person.

Adam: (acting offended) But she's my nana!

Chase: There's no substitute for Bree's speed! The best we can do is find a way to get to missions faster.

Adam: Fine, I'll take her home! (To the old lady) Hey nana, do you remember where you live, 'cause I have no idea.

(The old lady nods and enters the Davenport kitchen)

(Next scene. Leo, Bree and Donald are still in the lab, Donald is working manually on Bree's chip, with Leo standing very close)

Leo: Did you try–?

Donald: (interrupting Leo) Yes, I tried that.

Leo: Maybe you–

Donald: (interrupting Leo again) Maybe you should stand over there so that your peanut butter breath wouldn't distract me and I could think! (touches the chip and a short circuit scares him back) Aww, aww, you know what?! I need a break. That's it! I just need a break! (starts smiling hysterically) That's all. WOW! Breaktime! (walks away, laughing from stress)

Bree: Wow, I have never seen him like this.

Leo. I have. Remember last Christmas when he gained two pounds? Those fluffy sweaters weren't fooling anybody.

Bree: I'm scared, Leo. What if he can't fix my chip? I had a gift and then I just threw it away. By destroying that chip, I destroyed our team.

(Next scene. Leo is in a park)

Leo: Excuse me, ma'am. I'm looking for a guy named Douglas. Have you seen him? Short, creepy, porky-pine hair.

Douglas: (in body of lady Leo was talking to) I wouldn't call it porky-pine hair! (presses a button on his throat and morphs into Douglas) It's more like a spiky-lions mane.

Leo: Douglas? You can be anybody with that cyber-mask, why would you go with... that?

Douglas: Two reasons. Hides me from Krane, and... scares the pigeons away. How did you find me?

Leo: Well, I could make up an impressive story about a high-teck sattelite search thing, narrowed down your exact coordinates, but the truth is... you butt dialed me. Look. We need your help. Bree wrecked her chip.

Douglas: She what? It took me years to perfect that thing!

Leo: Yeah, well, it took her three seconds to destroy it. The bigger problem is, Big D can't fix it.

Douglas: Of course he can't. Hahaha! I win again! Hahaha! Can't wait to chump his face in this one.

Leo: It's not about you beating your brother, he doesn't even know I'm here! But I had no other choice, you're the only one who can help Bree.

Douglas: I wish I could, Leo, but I don't even have a lab anymore.

Leo: I'll sneak you into ours while Big D's out.

Douglas: I don't know.

Leo: Please? Dad?

Douglas: I'm not your dad!

Leo: Well, you're everybody else's dad! I thought it might work! Look, now is not the time for egos or grudges, Bree's my sister, and I have to fix this! She needs your help.

Douglas: Okay. (morphs back into disguise) Guess I'll just have to be the bigger man.

(Next scene. Outside the front door, Adam leads Chgase to an item covered with a sheet)

Adam: (pulls off sheet and takes away a football from the apparatus. Powers it on) Ta-daa!

Chase: You're... gonna teach me how to catch a football?

Adam: No, I'm tryin' to fix the Bree problem, not do the impossible.

(Next scene. Leo, Donald and Douglas are in the lab, while Bree is hanging above the floor with her legs going crazy)

Bree: Can someone please do something!?

Leo: Her heart rate's at 200 and rising, and while I'm not a doctor, I feel that's unsafe.

Donald: (To Douglas) It's all your fault! You overloaded her chip!

Douglas: My fault? It was your chip I was trying to fix, which was flawed, much like your original nose.

(Donald gasps)

Bree: Get this chip out of me!

Donald: We can't remove your chip while your bionics are in use, we can program it wirelessly with this. (attaches something to her neck)

Leo: Hurry, she's redlining! If we don't do something, her heart could–

Bree: My heart could what!?

Leo: (to Donald) What's another word for 'explode'?

Donald: I'll enable a diagnostic app that will help us isolate problem areas in the code.

Douglas: We don't have time for that. (pushes Donald away from the keyboard) I'll fix the code.

Donald: (pushes Douglas away) Oh, you've fixed enough, I've got it. 

Douglas: (looks up) Oh no, what's wrong with her head?!

(Donald looks at Bree, Douglas pushes him away again and they want to start fighting)

Leo: Stop! WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME!

Douglas: Wait... This line of code hasn't been debugged!

Donald: That's why her narrow rate keeps re-indexing.

Leo: What does that mean?!

Donald & Douglas: I solved the problem! (start tapping in a hurry) Complex asterisk B equals no, value equals 1!

Donald: Here it goes.

(Donald & Douglas each press a button, Bree's legs slow down)

Leo: Yes! Her heart rate's going down. It's headed for normal.

Bree: (exhausted) Yeah..!

(Donald & Douglas shake hands and perform a ridiculous duo-dance)

Bree: I wish my heart exploded before I saw that.

(Next scene. Leo is in the living room when Adam & Chase enter)

Leo: Hey, guess what?

Bree: (super-speeds to them) I'm back, losers.

Chase: You got your speed back!

Adam: Well that's ahm, too bad 'cause we already moved on. (sniffs)

(Donald & Douglas enter)

Douglas: Hey boys.

Chase: Douglas? What's going on?

Bree: Thank you, Leo. I mean, if not for you, none of this would have ever worked out. (to Donald) And... I promise I will never do anything that stupid ever again.

Donald: It's okay. We all make mistakes. And everybody deserves a second chance.

Bree: (looks at the door where Douglas left) Everybody?

Adam: Oh snap!

References

1. Show Me the Monday

2. New Season 3 Promo